Friday, 25 June 2010

The honeymoon station

Consciously, they did not think of touching a new ribbon of silvery togetherness—so fast and so long in one content self. It all happened in course of time turning moments into events and events into memories. But, without essentially entering into valuation of what has there been and what not, the flight upon four wings has let them float and fly through abundant expanse of life in unison.

The morning dropped from the smiling lips of rising sun. They were awake with steaming mugs of black coffee in green backyard lawn enclosed within beds of chosen flowers and an orchard of tall old trees—alike an emerald eye elegantly cradled in curves of long dark lashes. Birds whistled on, butterflies spread its colourful wings to gather warmth of morn and dew drops swung upon needles of grass; and they did so as they did a day before and in every other dawn of the past. Amidst all usual tunes of nature only different note that softened the chord was hidden in long speechless moments. They sat for longer than usual. And, she smiled. And, she spoke to break silence too.

It was that day!

Yes, it was that day! And, the night…the first night together? Remember?

Yes, twenty five years ! Pretty long, yet seems to have just come across, no?

Let’s go there…spend the day and the night too…would we?

The train stopped. Everything had changed so much that they could not believe it was same place. They searched for without exactly knowing what to and what for; yet they walked along the platform, from one end to the other…once…twice…thrice…and met the banyan tree—only bond to the past. They missed those two broken iron benches, and that tiny red tin-roofed railway office; and they remembered that lone hand pump too idly lying by a narrow path leading to horizon. The lean platform had gained all shines of health over the time. Its bare body had now been draped in colourful tiles…digital clocks, speakers, drinking water mounts, cemented seats and a new office with busy people running, walking, talking, and adding proud presence of civilization. There was no space for them to keep apart—to feel about being alone. Their souls travelled fast to the past….to that warm noon…and a colder night.

The dawn accompanied her to the threshold of a home for last nineteen years and the liberation erased all evidences of her root while the doors were firmly shut behind forever. He did not bring the bride home for to stay. Yet, it turned them absolutely unwelcomed for even a night. He did never dream that his own home could turn him homeless for marrying a Hindu girl against wishes of the family despite expecting not-so-happy expressions for the rebellious couple. They knew that neither of their families would love to see them together for life, but had not thought of losing access to it even as a distant guest. He just thought of spending a single last day in own known space…and to introduce his beloved to that space. They had ticket for the next day. The marriage did not get blessings of the past, of the space that took care to transform him from an infant to a kid, a kid to a boy and a boy to a man. In one moment, they were transported to a society of romany in the city abundantly saturated with old friends and relatives.

They lost luxury of spending one of the most memorable moments of life. They still had one complete day and night before boarding in train to Bombay. He had a decent job, decent accommodation and a decent amount of money in his purse to idle away the interval in decent hotel. But, the feeling of losing own space and denial of access of his wife to his own space on the marriage day was so intense that it not only killed his softer soul, but also punctured all assumed pride of being born in a liberal Christian society. They climbed down the stairs—straight to the street—and walked on with bagful of belongings---some memories, some wishes, some rejection, some losses, and some emotions martyred in pursuit of love and its honour. They walked together, holding hand in hand, for long hours—without speaking to each other.

Suddenly, he whispered something. She heard not, but nodded yes. And, they headed straight to Howrah Station and bought two tickets—for a honeymoon trip on the marriage day.

The shabby local train swam through passages of both idle noon and ever changing pastoral images. It stopped at one desolate station, and it had no urge to move on.

Warm winter noon had its sweet companion—a narrow platform with just a tiny red office…two broken iron benches, a few trees and a hand pump. Evidences could not still be enough to let one believe that it had ever heard footsteps of life. It was lying lifeless alike a statuette awaiting some special moment to arrive when someone would drop in to bless it with new life in a single touch and the pursuit would be fulfilled. There would be nothing to seek beyond that.

They looked at each other. The train left soon leaving behind two aliens—far from another galaxy—in that deserted island of solitude. They sat beneath a large banyan tree. Sun sailed through sky from above to far in the west. A few more passenger trains came and went; yet they did not see anyone boarding or alighting. They were so emotionally carried in deciding to get down there that they thought not of buying anything for long winter night. It was late evening, when the last train too departed. A middle aged man suddenly appeared from nowhere. He was the first human being they met. His husky voice had an unmatched compassion in its exchange.

What do you people sit for? The last train has gone.

Er… actually, we are not waiting for any train. We are homeless for tonight…yeah, we got married just this day.

Oh, I see. Just fled home…love marriage? I’m the Stationmaster. If you wish, you two may come to my house …just in the village, a couple of miles away.

Okay, thanks! But, we don’t want to disturb you. We would rather spend honeymoon here.

Ha..ha…nice. It is indeed a nice place for honeymoon…a perfect full moon. Okay, as you wish. But, after I left there will be none here till I come again in the morning. Have you eaten ?

No…we will manage, sir.

The fat wild man said no more. He brought out something from his cloth bag, handed the paper pack to her and walked away slowly. Their glistened eyes followed the figure…from platform end to railway office….riding on a bicycle….and finally fading into misty veil of darkness.

She opened the packet…some baked rice and a few pieces of boiled potatoes. They did not realize how hungry they were until they had finished it all.

The golden disc of moon had risen, by that time, behind silhouetted towers of trees…some closer, and the most afar. Its warm shines could not wipe chill of February night. He took her on his lap, stroked softly upon her wide temple neatly stretched between two closed eyes and braided hairs. And, he stooped low to put an elegant kiss. She was already asleep after long ruinous day of joy and betrayal. He pulled out a towel and placed it upon her curled body. The Eden was all set for two loving souls in its wilderness.

They traversed back from memories…from dreams. It was all new. They fought to believe it was where they had their first honeymoon…and they believed and failed to believe in rhythm of time. Being caught in dilemma, they remained speechless for hours. And, it was almost a state that brought them to brink of losing expressions when she whispered.

Home…let’s return…own home.

Long years….long lane of memories….slowly lifted them to a new globe….enclosed in a new blue sky…and they sensed something anew….the space that favoured a home for homeless had turned them homeless again.

They packed up, and looked behind to seek again for something unattainable—the permanence of luxury of peace confined in dungeon of space—and failed utterly. They felt for the first time in life that a space turned into a home only to be immortalized by moments of glory—love, reliance, trust and truth—it had been through expressions of life fastened to it.

They faded into new sphere of moments. The honeymoon station stood motionless as a milestone in a path connected by two unknown ends—the beginning and the finality—embracing stolen images of emotions of those evaporated souls.

Sunday, 23 May 2010

Yet, remember me

For years they remained inseparable company in life as neighbours whom I’d neither loved nor envied. In white radiance of pride shone the youth of life ruthlessly blinding faint glimmers they left upon an azure sky of soul. I dreamt not if they could so invincibly reign in the future in me.
I wonder if it is a battle between the past and the present or a bridge between. Awestruck I look at the army of valiant warriors ! Whom I took no care even to notice now descend with its impervious presence and I dare not but gaze on.
They leave me in a quandary if it is a battle or a bridge while I cede in. Memories ! I looked at them as some fallen leaves…once green that held soft rays of morn upon its wide face, sipped dews of those chilling night, and then turned yellow, then red, then brown…and…went away erasing all history of moments it lived through. And, I thought, they strolled along my side in walks of life; but I left them when I wished…the one, then another, and more while eloping with my envious future. They stood alike mannequins so fondly adorn with masks of my deeds and misdeeds for showing up on the ramp when I would need them—the good, bad and ugly—as I would like to introduce before the world. And, buried under its veiled existence roam wails of innocence as intense yet powerless as wishes of a trafficked girl. Yes, I did so. Will now they declare the sentence? I await.
I deserve whatever they do to me. I enjoy being vanquished. Only I keep on tuning harp to sing my last song.

Yet, remember me if I go far away.
If old love gets tangled in meshes of new love,
If I stay close yet you cannot discern
If I exist or not, still remember me.
If tears dangle between eyelids,
If the play ends once in sweetness of night,
Yet, remember me.
If chores are stuck in an autumn morn,
Remember me.
Even in remembrances if eyes do not glisten
Yet, remember me.

(Never mind my utter inadequacy in expressions while transliterating such a powerful poem of Rabindranath Tagore “Tabu mone rekho”)

Friday, 7 May 2010

O Mother !


This is a repost originally published two years back on the 35th death anniversary of my dear mom....

"Mother, I shall weave a chain of pearls
For thy neck with my tears of sorrow"......Rabindranath Tagore

( These expressions of Tagore from Gitanjali were quoted by Sidharth while reflecting on original post )
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Time alone can only beat time. A few decades have silently walked past and fast. This day of May resurfaces as unnoticed as blossoms unfurling its petals into full-bloom and as ritually as tides offer itself on tranquil banks of rivers.
Yes, we parted on one such day. The day was for my eyes and cries to accompany each other for too long. Yes, the day was there to teach me that sorrows and joys were not apart until time would dart a neat arrow of moment to draw a line between.
It is the loveliest in you that you brought me here. You let me sleep for months over that divine lotus gently floated in a pool of sacred water inside that beautiful world within you. Although the sky was dark with no stars to twinkle, no moon to shine and no sun to dazzle; yet no fear was there to sequester my feeble mind for ever-comforting warmth of the sanctuary in accompaniment. I never longed for freedom; yet lovingly you woke me up and let the string loosened and let me set sail in an unknown world of allurements. Why did you let me come out so early ?
It was your jolly bright face that my eyes could experience its first sight in. It was your gentle voice that my ears could savour in its first listening to music. It was that divine drink which you offered to quench my first thirst. It was that sweet scent of your body, which intoxicated me with the first sense of smelling. It was you whom I shed the first drops of my tears before and it was you with whom I shared my first love and joy. It was you wherefrom the first beam of life for me emanated.
With only a few seasons of togetherness to spend by came the divine ordain and it was time to part again. It was then for you to move to another world which my life could never reach up to until it denied itself. Why did you leave me so early ?
Days and nights passed by, and again this day of May resurfaces. I miss you not for I know that you have laid your loving eyes wide in those millions stars in the sky to take care of me. I miss you not for I know that your wishes roam around me with every fallen leaf of autumn, with every gentle drop of rain, with every ray of morning sun of winter and with every gentle breeze of summer. I miss you for not being by your warm presence. The poet said—“For love, the month is May”. Yes, true was he; yes, true he is. And, on this day of May, I miss you for I know I love you so much.
I miss you too much for I know I miss you too much, my dear Mom!

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Friday, 9 April 2010

Love

"Kandale tumi more bhalobasar ghaye..."

This is one of my most favourite songs of Tagore....
I have attempted to present its translieration before my friends for whom language in original stands as a barrier....I know it hasn't touched the depth of the poet's spiritual consciousness, yet a fraction would be enough to value its wholeness, I feel.....

Thou hast made me cry in lashes of thy love--
In an intense pain infusing euphoric stream of bliss within.
For the tryst I shall venture thy place unreachable, and
Let it play tunes of twinges onto my weary feet.

The flute blows within my heart,
The stream of tears meanders on,
And in all sweetness of sorrow are lost the paths of pursuit.
Thou rob me of all, bit by bit, yet desert me not;
Thoughts cannot budge, what a quandary thou hast led me in ?

Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Tale of a copycat.....


Dear readers,
I received interesting information from an unnamed reader this morning. It is in my comment box of my February 18, 2010 post, “The Barman’s string”
http://saibarman.blogspot.com/2010/02/barmans-string.html
and when I checked the link provided therein I was shocked to find its contents...you may check yourself too at
http://mkalkunte.blogspot.com/2010/02/barmans-rant.html
And, on further scrutiny I found two more posts in that blog—one being
http://mkalkunte.blogspot.com/2010/02/tormented.html
 copied from one fine contribution of “Shas”
http://wwwscribblingsonthewall.blogspot.com/2009/04/tormented.html
and another one
http://mkalkunte.blogspot.com/2010/02/memories.html
copied from what I wrote in the comment box of “Memories” written by “Shas”
http://wwwscribblingsonthewall.blogspot.com/2009/11/memories.html
I have requested the blogger to search for conscience....
What I write on my blog are just to share expressions, and they never go for publication elsewhere...blogging and publication are two distinct categories for me which are well classified, both in content and context...and, I don’t mind even if someone wants to use any of my blog-posts for any academic or personal interest so long it bears an honest intention...
I still believe that time is never lost...maybe, only delayed...for to learn to renew trust in truth...and I wish the person finds comfort of a guileless space of soul.
Let us hope that this turns out to be the last tale of a copycat....yes, of the last copycat !

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

To my dear readers.....


This life has, along its long branches of tree, offered countless leafs of moments for me. Some could comfort a few blossoms of dreams to bloom, and some more to let float its soft pollens of expressions to meander in smooth breezes of relationships. In its enduring presence through seasons, years and decades, it might also have laid some long shadows of memories upon the beaten path. They grow longer, slender and darker as time ushers faint rays of falling sun in through webs of foliages. Perhaps, soon they will outgrow of its own contents and approximations in an intense yearning for to lie just close to the soil that has, for so long, drenched its roots, treasured its fallen leafs and listened to whispers of its mirth and sorrow. In silence, they—the tree, the soil and the shadows—gently weave on its last wishes to merge into an inseparable oneness before evaporating into a grand expanse of darkness.

And, it all happened in its own solitary world unperturbed by presence of anything external to it. It all happily happened within its own pleasure and pain. Yet, someone observes. There are always some silent observers...yes, it has been as my father once cautioned me. I did not comprehend the truth hidden in his expression. It was so long before !

I smell the flowers again where the seed of this life was once tenderly held in the deepest core of love and care. I run through long lanes of remembrances to hear those sweet tunes that they sang for me only. I float again in that pool of childhood innocence. I hear melodies of joy of creation....I draw signs of my love on those trembling lips with my tiny palms. And, I hear again those murmurs of the past...there are always some silent observers.

In truest sense, I opted for blogging to share my travelogues some three years back. Yes, it runs still separately. I opted for another space here to write on whatever I feel...just a freedom road for my thoughts. I never expected readers, nor do I as this page has no specific objective of discussions. Although my travel blog and online journal are comparatively popular in trekkers’ world, I have enjoyed more in writing here than elsewhere for some interesting revelations that it has offered me with. I will mention just one instance to confine to what I intend to finally end with. After publication of a few posts under Kids Zone, there came an email communication from an US teacher. I was really amazed and happy to learn that she had some lively sessions over those posts with her junior level students and even shared some of their brilliant reactions. A few observations were so incisive that I had to subsequently revise my ambition to write serious things for kids in a more cautious manner. And, finely I learnt that neither the teacher nor the students were bloggers but regular readers. Yes, we are still in occasional touch. And, I can feel their presence through traffic feed counts too. This particular event of life led me to embrace my dad’s words intensely. I realized essence of it and enjoy listening to footsteps of those observers, more and more, in our silent trysts. I started observing them too...yes, truly and meticulously, for it inspirational value...I can travel to those far countries, distant cities, remote corners of this planet—from Norway to Australia, from Texas to Bangalore, from Romania to Hong Kong...and, for last a few weeks I can observe gentle footprints of someone...someone so far from Snow Hill, Antarctica.

I honour you all for being with my expressions, for within my inspiration and for I learn to trust you to explore trust in me. I rejoice in being silenced by your silent presence, my dear readers !

Friday, 26 February 2010

Blowing in the wind.....

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I met her long back when my eyes were blue. Together we walked through some unsaid moments. The slender path that was never trodden before bared all passions of her soul to welcome prime of a youth. And, before it was time to be, we parted with whispers flowing from trees to sky ... “Will there ever be another tryst?”

The boy had another path to tread on...but, she had nowhere to go, none to comfort and her passions slipped into hardened shell of life, ignored and unnoticed, for to row it on through an endless journey.

Years after, an old man walked back as leisurely as would make time furious of his neglect and he went on retracing beaten tracks of life only to reassure himself of that life hadn’t been just a dream. He met her again...still lying alone, ignored and unnoticed. Nothing had changed much...except that she had outgrown with weeds around and his eyes had turned gray. The moments sped by.. muted by resurrection of those gone by and promises of those would ensue. He gazed on ...savouring pleasure of immaculate presence of someone whose creation had buried all its essence in his vision only. Within brim of his dim eyes he could only explore some frozen moments so passionately treasured into a string of silent footprints of memories upon her ruptured soul....

They parted again....but, this time neither she nor he had anywhere to go....only driven to destiny through life’s inevitability....answer was blowing in the wind...

I enjoyed your pages, but preferred to leave some reflections here only to tell you an untold tale of an innocent path....

Wish you would meet her some day, somewhere in your life too.

This is one that I had long wished to share on my blog, but your post has inspired to put it here instantaneously...maybe, it will now feature on my page too.

Regards,
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This is just another page of those tousled leafs on my table that floated in a blowing southern breeze of new-born Spring to touch down the comment box of a blog post by Alex at http://philososphyofalex.blogspot.com/2007/01/short-story.html before it finally settles down here.

The song of distant meadows !!

In my sparkling youth, on a delightful day of the college picnic, an ever-smiling teacher said to me "In your stubborn state, you don...