Sunday, 23 May 2010
For years they remained inseparable company in life as neighbours whom I’d neither loved nor envied. In white radiance of pride shone the youth of life ruthlessly blinding faint glimmers they left upon an azure sky of soul. I dreamt not if they could so invincibly reign in the future in me.
I wonder if it is a battle between the past and the present or a bridge between. Awestruck I look at the army of valiant warriors ! Whom I took no care even to notice now descend with its impervious presence and I dare not but gaze on.
They leave me in a quandary if it is a battle or a bridge while I cede in. Memories ! I looked at them as some fallen leaves…once green that held soft rays of morn upon its wide face, sipped dews of those chilling night, and then turned yellow, then red, then brown…and…went away erasing all history of moments it lived through. And, I thought, they strolled along my side in walks of life; but I left them when I wished…the one, then another, and more while eloping with my envious future. They stood alike mannequins so fondly adorn with masks of my deeds and misdeeds for showing up on the ramp when I would need them—the good, bad and ugly—as I would like to introduce before the world. And, buried under its veiled existence roam wails of innocence as intense yet powerless as wishes of a trafficked girl. Yes, I did so. Will now they declare the sentence? I await.
I deserve whatever they do to me. I enjoy being vanquished. Only I keep on tuning harp to sing my last song.
Yet, remember me if I go far away.
If old love gets tangled in meshes of new love,
If I stay close yet you cannot discern
If I exist or not, still remember me.
If tears dangle between eyelids,
If the play ends once in sweetness of night,
Yet, remember me.
If chores are stuck in an autumn morn,
Even in remembrances if eyes do not glisten
Yet, remember me.
(Never mind my utter inadequacy in expressions while transliterating such a powerful poem of Rabindranath Tagore “Tabu mone rekho”)
Friday, 7 May 2010
This is a repost originally published two years back on the 35th death anniversary of my dear mom....
"Mother, I shall weave a chain of pearls
For thy neck with my tears of sorrow"......Rabindranath Tagore
( These expressions of Tagore from Gitanjali were quoted by Sidharth while reflecting on original post )
Time alone can only beat time. A few decades have silently walked past and fast. This day of May resurfaces as unnoticed as blossoms unfurling its petals into full-bloom and as ritually as tides offer itself on tranquil banks of rivers.
Yes, we parted on one such day. The day was for my eyes and cries to accompany each other for too long. Yes, the day was there to teach me that sorrows and joys were not apart until time would dart a neat arrow of moment to draw a line between.
It is the loveliest in you that you brought me here. You let me sleep for months over that divine lotus gently floated in a pool of sacred water inside that beautiful world within you. Although the sky was dark with no stars to twinkle, no moon to shine and no sun to dazzle; yet no fear was there to sequester my feeble mind for ever-comforting warmth of the sanctuary in accompaniment. I never longed for freedom; yet lovingly you woke me up and let the string loosened and let me set sail in an unknown world of allurements. Why did you let me come out so early ?
It was your jolly bright face that my eyes could experience its first sight in. It was your gentle voice that my ears could savour in its first listening to music. It was that divine drink which you offered to quench my first thirst. It was that sweet scent of your body, which intoxicated me with the first sense of smelling. It was you whom I shed the first drops of my tears before and it was you with whom I shared my first love and joy. It was you wherefrom the first beam of life for me emanated.
With only a few seasons of togetherness to spend by came the divine ordain and it was time to part again. It was then for you to move to another world which my life could never reach up to until it denied itself. Why did you leave me so early ?
Days and nights passed by, and again this day of May resurfaces. I miss you not for I know that you have laid your loving eyes wide in those millions stars in the sky to take care of me. I miss you not for I know that your wishes roam around me with every fallen leaf of autumn, with every gentle drop of rain, with every ray of morning sun of winter and with every gentle breeze of summer. I miss you for not being by your warm presence. The poet said—“For love, the month is May”. Yes, true was he; yes, true he is. And, on this day of May, I miss you for I know I love you so much.
I miss you too much for I know I miss you too much, my dear Mom!
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